Vogon Poetry Slam

The Vogon Poetry Contest is the truest form of literary Armageddon ever conceived! You must use wit, skill and complete lack of literary taste to battle in this arena! The last travesty, I mean “poem,” standing is the winner

Now for some understandings*: 

  1. It must rhyme. (You are not getting off that easily!)
  2. The use of the 7 deadly words are strictly forbidden (i.e., no curse words).
  3. Must be short, 50 words or less. We will not read your epic Beowolf!!
  4. Judges can be bribed to read poems. If a bribe is accepted, the judge must read out loud said poem. (It helps planetary relations.)
  5. Judges can’t be bribed for favoritism in the selection process.
  6. Puns, double entendre, made-up words, psudo-science, and misspellings are all acceptable.  (The warp core adjunct to the plasma manifold is coaxially leaking bottom quarks. Say that 10 time fast!!)
  7. English Only. (No Klingon Glyphs!)
  8. Grammar is optional. (We bet you liked that.)

Good Luck – I’ll Need It!

Next of Kin:

* The Vogon Board of Directors has updated the “Rules” as of A.V. 123824.  Improving relations with other races, the Vogon way!!