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Vogon Poetry Contest

May 25 @ 5:00 pm - 6:45 pm

Join us, Wednesday, May 25th from 5 pm – 6:45 pm at The Knotted Root Brewing Company for our Intergalactic Pre-Party where we will feature our Vogon Poetry Slam!

The Vogon Poetry Slam Contest is the truest form of literary Armageddon ever conceived! You must use wit, skill and complete lack of literary taste to battle in this arena! The last travesty, errr… “poem,” standing is the winner.

Now for some understandings*:

  1. It must rhyme. (You are not getting off that easily!)
  2. The use of the 7 deadly words are strictly forbidden (i.e., no curse words).
  3. Must be short, 50 words or less. We will not read your epic Beowolf!!
  4. Judges can be bribed to read poems. If a bribe is accepted, the judge must read out loud said poem. (It helps planetary relations.)
  5. Judges can’t be bribed for favoritism in the selection process.
  6. Puns, double entendre, made-up words, psudo-science, and misspellings are all acceptable.  (The warp core adjunct to the plasma manifold is coaxially leaking bottom quarks. Say that 10 time fast!!)
  7. English Only. (No Klingon Glyphs!)
  8. Grammar is optional. (We bet you liked that.)

To participate in the poetry slam, submit your poem below. Prizes will to the top three worst poems!

To buy online tickets to the Backdoor Theatre’s showing of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, click here.

Good Luck – You’ll Need It!

* The Vogon Board of Directors has updated the “Rules” as of A.V. 123824.  Improving relations with other races, the Vogon way!!


May 25
5:00 pm - 6:45 pm


Knotted Root Brewing Co.
250 N Caribou St.
Nederland, CO 80466 United States
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